My eyes focused on the empty seat next to Hans.
It unnerved me in ways no words could capture to constantly be self-aware of Vera’s absence.
It was half past three o’clock and the class would end in forty-five minutes. I decided to go off-subject and learn more about the children who were put under my wings.
I gathered the stools at the farthest corner, the kids helped of course, and we sat in a circle.
I observed them keenly; Leila was restless and fidgeting, Michaela, with her upturned nose, calm, while the boys who were sitting next to one another giggled among themselves, perhaps exalted that they were no longer required to sit still and study.
And so I began: “It occurred to me this morning that I knew so little about each of you, and that I wanted to hear more about Dew Shire and the communion here.”
“Oh, Dew Shire’s no fun, miss, there’s nothing to know about it, really,” said Derrick, and the others agreed.
Hans was quick to add. “I can’t talk for all of us, but I dare say that Dew Shire has nothing to offer for us children.”
So, he knew this already, I thought and smiled faintly as I recalled his introduction on the first day of school.
But it struck me as quite odd that they only talked about Dew Shire but said nothing at all about themselves or the communion they belonged to.
It was as if they had been instructed by someone not to breathe a word about themselves and the congregation.
Michaela, who had previously remained quiet, then spoke up amidst my musings and threw me off.
“Everything’s well in Dew Shire, miss, it’s just… never mind.”
The children all fell silent as she reluctantly stopped mid-sentence. They all exchanged gazes with one another and looked anxious and ill at ease.
I pressed on, sensing that there was more to these words than the kids let on.
“You can tell me. It’s all right Michaela.”
She took a gander at the others before she met my quizzical look.
I expected to hear her talk about the nature and ordinariness of thrashing in the countryside, but she did not.
I laughed quite bewildered by her utterance and glanced at the other kids who all dropped their heads.
For the briefest of moments, I thought I heard incorrectly – that it ought to be like that – but I knew it was not.
“My parents force me to read the Gospel every night. It’s a tradition of ours and my good mother said naughty kids like me won’t be spared if I don’t read it. I’m sure it’s the same for the others. Just look at us, miss…
“I’m sure half of us have stayed up late studying the Gospel tonight. But it isn’t the act of studying that bothers us; it’s your arrival, miss. You’ve not come alone to Dew Shire. A diabolic creature follows you and—”
“A diabolic creature?” I repeated, taken aback more than I wanted to admit.
“It’s all in the Gospel, miss,” said Leila who had said no words up until this point. Her eyes were fixed on the floor.
“But I don’t believe it; I don’t believe what they say about you.”
“You must be mistaken, then,” I replied and was about to dismiss the singular meeting when Hans assured me.
“It is all true, miss! There cannot be—”
The door creaked open and a dishevelled Nath bolted inside, out of breath.
But his cheeks were not flushed and his chest hardly moving. His eyes landed on Hans and did not budge until I, rather reluctantly, dismissed the class and let the kids go home for the day.
Only when the kids had gone did the uninvited guest speak.
It struck me then, as he delivered the bad news, that he must have eavesdropped on our conversation and barged in so that the kids couldn’t tell me anything I was not supposed to know.
Discreetly, in such a way that gave his intentions away. I could hear that he was trying to figure out whether I knew more than I let on – and whether he had come too late.
I ignored his question and focused solely on the first part of his conceived speech.
“The kid’s gone; we’re all to gather in the church in half an hour. I did not disrupt your class I hope?”
“The kid? You mean Vera? How so? Did you call the police?”
He shook his head. I was flabbergasted; I saw red at that instance.
“A kid’s gone missing and you haven’t called the police? Is this how it works in the countryside!”
“That, I’m afraid, you’ll have to ask Mary in person. She’s the one who calls the shots here. But you must have noticed that already…”
He held out his hand towards the gaping door.
I put back the stools in their rows, refusing the other’s help, then packed my stuff and secured them in my office at the other end of the winding corridor.
Nath had left the school building when I passed by the classroom to lock it and then made my way to the exit.
The patter of rain was so subtle that it was no wonder I had not noticed it had begun to pour; the grey clouds covered the tip of the snow-capped mountains and patches of fog threatened the lucidity of day.
I drew my shawl and skittered to the lofty and coal-dark building down the bumpy trail leading to the fountain.
There was still a quarter to the meeting yet I found the church full to the brim as I forced the doors open.
All eyes, depthless and sunken, turned towards me as I entered. Taken aback, I quickly retorted to one of the empty seats near the entrance only to be ushered to the front row by Nath.
I was quite bewildered by the mass of townspeople to notice that I was sitting next to Vera’s mother.
I observed her as a kid would a giant and noticed that she looked anything but grief-stricken.
She, much like everyone else in Dew Shire, looked devoid of emotions; soulless and callous, human to the touch and flesh but not at heart and spirit.
Mary’s arrival arrested me. She pranced down the aisle and, like a preacher, stood in front of the awaiting mass.
I couldn’t wrap my head around her character, although I could tell that she was of great importance to Dew Shire and its congregation.
But there was something surreal about her, an eerie feeling that gnawed at the back of my mind.
Her countenance was unlike any other. Yet I couldn’t read her, and it was this insight that sickened me to the core.
“You must’ve heard about the unfortunate event that has befallen us, my brothers and sisters. Little Vera, bless her, has gone with the wind and I plead with each one of you to find me should you see her.
“I’ll pray she’s unharmed, perhaps lost but safe, and that we’ll find her soon. Now, let’s pray—”
Mary clasped her hands together in a prayer when I interrupted her.
“Shouldn’t we call the police? They, rather than a man-made god, will surely find her in time.”
She disregarded me as did the others. A chilling prayer pervaded and I was the only one who did not plead with the gods.
The gathering was over.
I seized Mary as she was about to leave, but I did not say a word until Vera’s mother left, and there were only three of us: Mary, Nath, and I.
The young woman, however, was not startled by my aggressive nature. I could tell that she expected this much from me or perhaps even worse things.
“No matter how much I think this through, I believe, whatever happened to Vera, it was her mother’s doing.
“She must’ve seen red when you talked to her about Vera’s wounds, and I think she… We need to call the police before it’s too late!”
“Call the police?” she repeated, there was a hint of disbelief in the tone of her dismissive voice. “On what grounds and on what evidence, exactly? If we are to call the police, then we’d better find leads first.”
“I- I saw her scars as I’m sure her classmates did as well! That should be enough to at least detain—”
Mary leaned in.
“This… is my congregation, Ms Carlton, and we do as I say here. Do you understand?”
I briefly dropped my eyes, which darted from side to side, unsure and antsy all at the same time, before I exited the church and came to a standstill in the doorway.
I cast a glimpse of the grim interior as I recalled the day I brought Vera home.
Her tiny eyes quivered at the sight of this place, this beat-down House of God, and clung to me as if a Satanic force would get her and rip her away from the face of the Earth.
Now she was gone.
The shadowy corners, the dim-lit vaults, and the singular yet crafty work of idols arrested me. I wanted to explore it, search every nook and cranny, and—
“Miss?” I shifted my glassy eyes to the front yard where I, in my musings, failed to notice that Nath waited for me.
He did that quite often, I reasoned, waiting for me, even when I did not expect him to.
Even today, when he barged into the classroom, I was certain that he waited in front of the door, eavesdropping all along.
I came up with some excuse and followed him out into the murk. It had become rather dark and gloomy due to the parky weather. But it did not rain; it had done its deed and then faded away.
I hardly took a few steps when I turned to face the church for the last time, and a bloodcurdling shiver ran up my spine. This place… What about this place unnerved me so? I couldn’t even tell.
I excused myself and went up the winding trail towards the school building, then I turned around when I was sure Nath was no longer following me and made it down to the grocer’s shop.
I snatched the first item I saw on the shelves and swiftly advanced towards the counter.
The grocery shop’s owner never let me out of his sight. I could almost hear the nervous lurch of his beating heart as I approached him.
He crammed up as I inquired about Dew Shire.
By the time I was to repeat myself and less discreetly this time about the nature of my experiences the last few days, he turned his back to me and fished up a ripped piece of newspaper from under the counter.
I held my hand out to take a look at it when he placed his hands over mine and, finally, met my gaze.
“Be careful out there, you mustn’t let them know I gave this to you. And.” He glimpsed outside for a fraction of a second, then let me go. “Get out of Dew Shire at the first chance.”
I tucked the newspaper in my pocket and exited.
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