Photo by Catalin Pop on Unsplash
I can’t understand females despite being one myself. Sure, you’ve got a kid to take care of and all that, but why endure being beaten black and blue when you can just… feed your abusive partner some pills?
I can’t understand how somebody
can be so stupid when ending the misery is so easy. So easy that I can’t
phantom why anybody would rather endure the pain and agony than fight
back in the most perfect way there is?
Or when you’re raped and lying
next to your rapist, why not just take a knife and stab them when they least
expect it? It’s so easy that I can’t understand why no female ever does it, why
they choose to endure rather than to end it.
I’m no sexist, yet sometimes the
very stupidity of my sex gets me worked up in ways no words can truly capture. At
the same time, I perceive myself as a feminist at heart, for I’d rather see my
sex fight the oppression and the abuse by giving right back to their
abusers than stay idle, yet they rarely do.
That lack of action actually made
me distance myself from my peers. Like, seriously, you’re just going to get
raped and do nothing about it? Your kids? Your poor, poor kids?
Well, aren’t they better off at some random orphanage than learning how to
treat other people from that partner of yours?
But those kinds of things aren’t even the tip of my disturbing opinions about females and the growing trend of embracing masculinity, which is all about showing similar and violent tendencies as the very sex that puts them in so much misery.
Like, seriously? You think
you have what it takes to take on an average man with that build of yours? Sure,
steroids will help you get those muscles to look way larger than they
are, but are they actually making you strong enough to fight back a man
with natural levels of testosterone?
I’m not a man, but I think the
answer to this question is pretty obvious, and yet… Nowadays, female authors
seem to give my sex the false hope that we can take on an average man with ease,
abuse them, and show just as much brutality towards them, as they have shown to
us for ages. But just how detached from reality must someone be to actually
believe this crap?
I’m not talking about
transgenders but cis-people, by the way, even though when the transition
has begun plays a subtle part here, like the density of the bone, the levels of
testosterone before it was suppressed, and so on. Anyway, so what I am trying to
say is that… I’m going to prove them all wrong.
Getting raped? Easy! As long as
you have a hole somewhere, there will be dogs barking up across the
country. What is hard, the hardest part in fact, is to turn the dog into a
bitch and make it howl while you, as the female in this situation, make it immobile, cut off its testicles, and then grind the flesh with a proud smile.
Really, the only realistic way to
do all that is to, well, knock out your rapist with a blunt object when they’ve
finished their thing or, surprise, feed them some pills. But that would
be too easy and wouldn’t prove the theory of how women are capable of doing exactly
the same things to their abusers as they have done to them.
So, what do you do in that
scenario? Well, the best outcome would be to physically fight off the rapist
and then go from there. So… that’s what I decided to do.
Did it work? It did not. But I’m here,
writing this, so something must’ve gone right… right? The thing is, I
just did what any sensible female would in such a predicament: I tore my
abuser’s ear off and then chewed on his nose. A tad too salty and metallic in
taste, not to mention the acidic aftertaste of the byproducts produced by
bacteria on the skin tissue. Yikes! Why do men never shower?
Overall, this method was a very
unfortunate 3/10 – would not recommend. For my next attempt, if I ever should
decide to push the limits, I’d definitely prepare more beforehand in
case something goes astray during the review itself. And, well, I’d also practise
my cutting skills so that the body parts are grounded to perfection before dumping
them down the drain.
Also, for my next article, I’m
open to new recommendations. So try your worst, and I’ll see you next time in
another abysmal review!
Important notice: the procedures outlined in this article were performed under controlled settings and should never be replicated.
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